Despite the fact I’m looking incredibly pale and worn through, this picture makes me smile and remember filming in Alexandra Palace for the feature film Self Made. It was so nice to be able to use a skill I had learnt as a child. So my mothers money and 5am starts were not in vain. It brought back a lot of good and bad memories, as I had pretty much grown up in this gigantic fridge. From my first sprained ankle to my first kiss, the instant i smelt the distinct ice rink whiff it all came flooding back.
Fortunately I wasn’t too scarred by the memories and instead was inspired to take skating back up as a hobby. Its pretty amazing to come back to it as an adult. I no longer hang off the side too embarrassed to attempt moves for fear of being laughed at by the girls who bullied me, nor am I bored of it due to going 9 times a week and being chased the length of the rink by an angry Scottish woman, my coach not just a random. Now, I am happy to attempt jumps with a new found ability to push myself. I think the weight training has definitely increased my ability to jump higher and be able to attack moves more powerfully. My desire to not waste anymore of my life has also meant hardly any time is wasted not moving. Making every second count.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! The Galway film Fleadh (which I still feel weird saying, and feel like I’m saying it wrong) was awesome! Gutted I couldn’t stay any longer than the screening of The Callback Queen and a quick bite in Eddie Rockets but even though it was brief it was definitely worth it!
As always I had my trusty Polaroid camera to snap the scene! Admittedly I took more pics of the burger as it was disgustingly layered (ahh-may-zing).
The vibe was positive the people were fabulous, so all round it was a great night out!
Sean Lerwill’s cameo got a hearty laugh from the audience and my violent streak was definitely visible, poor Sean! (Which one?)
It was great catching up with the incredibly talented Sean o’Meallaigh who not only was a lead in the film chosen to open the fleadh but also one he wrote and directed himself! Also the lead Amy Joyce Hastings, who produced and starred in The Callback Queen also had her film nocturne passage screened the day after! I’m so lucky to have worked with such an amazingly talented bunch of lovely people!
If anyone out there hasn’t watched dexter then go out now to HMV and buy the boxset!!! It is incredible! Firstly the lead actor Micheal C Hall is brilliant. Definitely One I have watched to learn from. His minimal facial movements, similar to those of Glenn Close that tell so much are, to me anyway, an inspiring talent.
The whole cast are great, some I found settled into their roles more in the next few series. Or maybe that was more that they had a larger role to play, either way if you struggle with it at first do stick with it. I found True Blood hard to get into but that really is amazing, even if you don’t see it at first!
Ok so Happy New Year!
Normally at the beginning of the year I have a feeling. Yeah yeah I know it sounds wanky, but its true. I have a feeling of how the year will be. One year I remember feeling like I was going to be ok for money and that year low and behold I landed quite a few commercials and was better financially than I had been before. Not that I have any of that moulah now as I am atrocious at saving! But anywho! Another year I felt like I was going to be away from home a lot. Very fortunately I was asked out to India on a lot of occasions for great projects on the Bollywood scene. The year before I hadn’t been offered any jobs abroad. It wasn’t just like I hadn’t taken any and that next year i had changed my mind and started taking the offers.
One year I freaked a little as I just couldn’t feel anything. Felt unsure about how the year was going to go. Then as that first day of January went on I started to feel more positive about the year and got excited by the prospect of it. ( no I wasn’t just getting through a hangover!) that year the first half of it was pretty non existent. I don’t remember anything memorable, or challenging or anything I learnt through that time apart from patience. Then just as the last quarter of the year started I started picking up work again. An amazing and enjoyable project pretty much landed in my lap.
I totally understand if your like nuh rubbish. That’s fine I understand.
If your still here then I will move onto my point( not totally sure there is one but I did have one at one point) the way this year started I think was my point.
So this year. The clock struck twelve, I’m with the two most important people in my life, we have a circle of crackers( yes we are all a bit nuts, but I mean literally we are joined by Christmas crackers) we pull on them as the bell chimes and….crack….I lose from both sides.
Now this would normally, I’m sure, not be weird to most people or to myself but this last Christmas I was the cracker queen. And randomly there were a lot to pull. I was winning nail clippers and mini note pads left right and centre!
But here I am on my one special psychic day of the year, and I am stood with none of the prizes. Of course having the crazy actress brain I have, full of neurotic tendencies, superstitions galore and the all consuming fear of bad luck, this flickers a warning sign into my head!!
WARNING!! THIS IS A SIGN!!!!!! WARNING!!!!! this means you will not win any jobs!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
So of course I deal with it as any actress does,(it all goes internal) I put on a big smile and am happy for the oscar winners with their mini magic trick, paper crown and amazing trivia questions certificate.
Ok so it unnerved me, but as I have grown up a little I didn’t let it totally freak me out ( well maybe a little) I got on with the day. I went to bed.
Later on, we took a walk. Of course I did I’m English, its what we do. Nice brisk drenching walk in the lovely rain soaked clarty paths of Devon.
Got back from the torture and settled in to bum flattening movie watching! Random choices I’m sure you will think Jerry Maguire and Fight Club. Now we came to this more through bullying and winding up each other over the last few months. My two compadres needed to be educated in very different ways. We came to the truce of both being watched on this one afternoon of complete rest.
Anyways my long winded story brings me to the fact that Jerry Maguire reminded me to remember.
Remember why I always wanted to be an actress.
Remember the passion.
Remember the little things.
Remember what’s actually important.
Wills had never wanted to watch the Tom Cruise blockbuster. But we did and I think even he got something out of it.
So anyways moving onto the Mothers education with Fight Club.
Well if your can’t even begin to think what I was reminded and empassioned about I think you had better get off your Device, laptop iPad, phone whatever and get a hold of Fight Club and watch it!
It reminded me to be alive. However Im Not about to give up the desire to perform. But I do want to live with purpose. Live with my conscience in tact. I must admit the last year I have made enemies because I started to remember my morals and have some self worth. I tell you, it’s hard to do. But worth it. I lost people I worked closely with, people who enabled me to make good money. Really though, what did they aid my life. What do those people aid your life? Coz they are there. And they are sucking you dry.
They chipped and chipped away at my self worth. Watching Fight Club reminded me, to take some control back. To take responsibility for where I am and who I am. In one sense i saw it all as a mission statement to my brain.
My Mission Statement
But Be, who you want to be.
Be who you are without forgetting others are only trying to be who they think they should be.
I’m sorry if that’s just ramblings to you but it made sense to me. We all work on a slightly different wave length. Maybe someone out there will find this clicks with them. I hope so, I feel enlightened by life.
Happy New Year!
Final day of filming The Callback Queen has finally come around!!! Yay!
Very exciting as my character has had quite a transformation!! I can’t reveal what but it is an exciting end to Joanne’s story!
Ok so I am starting to watch Lost, kinda all over again. The first time around I only got as far as the 2nd series about 2 episodes in. I must admit watching it week by week it kinda lost me, now watching 3/4 episodes a day I’m hooked!!! I can’t get enough!! It is soooo good!
I definitely didn’t appreciate the acting quality the first time around! They are all, well so far minus 2 exceptions brilliant.
If you haven’t watched it previously do so! And if you gave up on it like I did, go back!! It is soooooooo worth it!
I must admit I’m so gutted it’s over, I would have loved to have filmed every day on that location, and with such a talented cast!
Ok so, ‘Hard Candy’ didnt knock me, ‘Saw’ kinda shook me up but nothing has fucked with my head quite so much as the 2011 film, ‘Sleeping Beauty’. I must admit I’m still not totally sure of what my opinion is of the film. It was horrid, and sick, visually uncomfortable and I guess deep down I know completely true to life, closer than we believe. The film was very well executed. I take my hat off to Emily Browning. A challenging role, but she took it in her stride. After reading the script I would probably have struggled at her age, to have even wanted to tell my family what I was going to audition for. It was a great challenging role, and I guess nothing will ever seem as hard for her to approach again. Bitch certainly did that for me! Kind of, seriously recommend, but not, if that makes any sense!
No I’m not talking about my Saturday night. Well technically I am, and yes if I’m honest I was a title wrecked, couldn’t complete one of @SeanLerwill workouts! Gt about 15mins in and flaked! I personally think it wasn’t my weak woman brain but more the blessing of a busy few weeks workwise!
Anyways back to the matter of a great film being very poorly rated previously and my desire to counter act, some idiots opinion.
Wrecked directed by Micheal Greenspan, written by Christopher Dodd and starring the brilliant Adrien Brody, is definitely worth a watch. More so in fact, I would actually say must watch for actors and actress’s. With hardly any speech throughout, I was hooked from start to finish. I must admit being ever so squeamish I did have to look away at a couple of points but mainly through my fingers as I didn’t want to miss any detail that would start to make sense of the film. We are literally kept guessing throughout the whole of the film as to what really happened to leave Brody in his predicament. I really don’t want to divulge much more as I want everyone to make their own opinions. I personally was very pleased, with my choice of movie for Saturday night.
It was a new experience of movie watching. Slightly like buried but so much more, that’s the most I’m saying.
What did you think of it?
Just want to say a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge Thank you to all the guys at Four Point Films. I had a great time shooting their latest short Film. I also have to Thank @SeanLerwill@SeanLerwill for getting me involved on the project. I’m keeping hush with the story until I’m allowed to divulge. I’m so excited to see some sneak peaks!