Walk a day in my shoes

Could you really? We all like to think we can empathize and sympathize with our fellow man (I do not do political correctness) but do we really even try past politeness sake? Are we sure we don’t gloss over and nod and apologise?
I have had a pretty shitty last year in particular. I say shitty as it hasn’t left me fighting for my life, I have not had to deal with the loss of a friend or relative (thank you god) I am still with a roof over my head. So am I about to commit a first world problems offence? Let’s see.
I like to think that I am pretty self aware. I feel like I have always tried to dredge up real empathy for those sharing something distressing or personal. But after the last few months of trials life has served me over the net, and my less and less ability to hit the solutions back, I have begun to re-think and reassess.
Have I glossed over and made someone else feel like their issue was just a irritation to my timetable?
I definitely feel like I have committed the offense of being An inconvenience on their walk from the station, forcing them to will their house was a different direction from the station to mine?
I was broken into several years back and it took me a good long while to get over it. Actually let’s go back even further, I was once taking a very lame typical tourist shot of the arc de ‘ triumph with my mum trying not to smile in front of it, when a blur of dirt and leather flew inches from my face swiping the shiny silver cyber shot from my fingers. My last years birthday present. To all those of the younger generation that is a camera. One separate from a phone. A stand alone camera.

I stupidly with one thought in my head started to chase the blur. My thought being that I had for once actually taken pictures at one of my ice skating shows and was not about to lose the images that I wouldn’t be able to get back. So I’m running through streets of Barcelona that I don’t know at all after this a-hole. Letting him weave me deeper into the alleyways of local neighbour hoods. People standing in doorsteps just watch as I yell asking them to “STOP HIM” or Please help me”. selfishly not even thinking about where my mother was or her fear for my saftey.

Thankful to my mothers encouragement of my ice skating and a ferocious Scottish woman called Margarita(my coach) I had fitness endurance and so managed to keep running till the morrocan tea leaf got exhausted. we ended up in an opening where building works had started but were now abandoned. I had got a hold of his jacket and asked him for my camera. I even tried to punch him. I may have given him a dead arm but he managed with his other arm to punch me. It made me flinch and let go of his jacket. I couldn’t see my camera and felt like it had all been pointless. Then suddenly my Mother appeared. She looked shaken but still she forcefully asked for the camera but the nasty piece instead picked up a brick and threw it at us just as 3 police officers came round the corner. Apparently whilst I was out jogging for 15mins with the sheisse a man had tried to assist my mum, he succeeded and managed to get police officers to boot! How they found me I don’t know, although I did realise we hadn’t actually traveled that far as on the run we past a fat man who just watched from his door way offering no assistance what so ever, not even a foot to trip up my running companion. I saw him 3 times, so really we were just doing circles.

Anyways, after the brick throw and the arrival of the police, my jogging partner tried to run off but this time his marathon was cut short. The police dragged him back to where we were less than 30 seconds later. All got sorted. Ive got kind of off track haven’t i?

So anyway, the Barcelona marathon incident meant I was a pain to go away with. Actually not just when away, I became very conscious of everyone around me. Suspicious of everyone around me. On the tube, in a sop, in a restaurant, I became so insistent on knowing and checking where mine and whoever I was with’s belongings were. My poor ex-boyfriend managed not to throttle me when I made him check certain items for like the 100th time. Then when the house got burgled I started hating leaving the house unattended.

Now that was over 8 years ago but it was only last year that I started to not worry about leaving the radio on, or lights in case we didn’t get back before it got dark. Stopped hiding my jewelry away and had it on my dresser. So of course, like a lesson, we got broken into again. This time it was even worse. We came home to someone locking the door from the inside. The cheeky ducker then went back upstairs and proceeded to steal several favored possessions. Thank god for my Marine, who free ran over the fence and broke into the house giving the little sheisse less time than he had wanted and he only cleared out ourĀ  bedroom.

Ive heard the Chinese say being stolen from is to save you from a worse fate. I used to cling onto that. Now I’m just scared, scarred and angry. I have tried to empathise with the image of the burglar. but the consistent sleepkess night I know have, still waking with every creak in the house. Lying there for an hr trying not to breath to make sure that creak wasn’t a nasty skanky tea leaf. Going to auditions looking like a bag of doodoo thanks to this banker which means I am not at my best to win the ever enduring competition of auditioning.

Does that mean I am not really that self aware or empathetic or did it just get all used up. I didn’t choose to take drugs, I didn’t choose to leave home. I may not have liked everything all of the time but I listened to my parents, I respected their words of advice and I am where I am. Just because you may not be where you want to be or are jealous of other people having more than you does not mean its ok to make it their problem. This year we have had our number plates stolen twice, a log placed by our back wheels with the aim of making us damage our wheels. People have been taking phone contracts and insurances out in my name(how kind of them).

I know these are superficial issues and I am incredibly grateful for our health. For my close family member to have fought cancer, for one of our friends to have survived losing three limbs and to have taken life by the horns and built his house and had 2 fathered two children. I guess its because of those serious issues that I am unable to empathise with the low life shits of this world.


Act 3 spotlight with crYay!!! Learning a new skill is awesome! I have been teaching myself to use a new piece of software and so have been able to make my own copyright watermark thingy! The thingy was obviously the technical term for it! Only those what have taught themselves are down with the ling-gwo! ya get me!

More love to share…Yumchaa!

Ok so I’m sat in cafe…that is not Starbucks! I know it’s almost blasphemy! I can actually see one Starbucks sign winking at me and know one of my fave ones is about 5 metres behind me. So I’m sat between two drinking A wondrous herbal tea. Now I nw that alo sounds like a lie as most herbal teas I have previously experienced are lame, twangy and a bit soury. I am sipping on a caramel sweetheart in the loveliest little quaint hang out in Londons Soho, Yumchaa.
It’s busy and has been for the past hr I’ve been using it to waste some time I till I go to my next casting. Literally two castings round the corner from each other and an hr and a half between slots.
I must admit that never seems like a gripe when I can waste a bit of time in London. I do live my home city. Despite wanting to be in the States I still appreciate and love London.
I suppose I love Yumchaa as it reminds me of New York and my fave hang out Urth cafe in LA without losing its Londonness.
Anyways back to Yumchaa, on entering there is like a gazillion little pots on the counter for you. To dip your nose into to have a sniff and make a decision on what drink to order. Last ome I was here I went for the refreshing but sweet mango sunrise, this time on this typically rainy London day I felt I needed a slight bit more of a hug and have a Caramel Sweetheart.
Unbelievably it has the depth and ooze sensation of caramel with no sugar but the feeling like you are having a sugary treat. I don’t know how they do it, and in truth I don’t wan to ruin the experience and try to make it at home.
Anyways, if you have some time to kill in London town do head down to Yumchaa, it’s on the corner of Berwick and Noel street in soho, w1.

Fitness Cube!


Just saw this article on The Independent’s website and was pretty impressed! This sounds awesome! Anyone got one? Looking forward to trying it out in Decathlon!


I think it could be brill, I’m just worried that if I weaken to my temptations of all things new, it. Might just end up in the loft with that stupid rocking ab thing I bought years ago!

Hello Big Apple!


Unbelievably I went to New York for the first time in my life last month! I cant believe I hadn’t visited the awesome Big Apple and taken a bite till just now! Even though it was a pretty whizz bang wallop trip, two photoshoots for Sean Lerwill’s Running Manual managed to be squeezed in! Despite having done a 3 day shoot in London we also managed to work with two amazing up and coming Photographers, Jon Josephs (http://jonjosephs.zenfolio.com) and Kevin B Winebold(www.kevinbphotography.com). We snapped away all round the city, Central Park, Chelsea Harbour, Grand central, utilising every awesome backdrop we could find. I would like to say Thank you to Sean for keeping me Chipper and making the trip amazing, and to both of the Photographers who both went way above and beyond what we could have expected!

P.S-Thank you Maximuscle for keeping us fueled throughout. I must also say Thank you Starbucks God for putting a Starbucks on every corner I wouldn’t have lasted the days without them!

Here’s a sneak peek of some pics! Shhhhh dont tell Sean…

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First Class not sent with love


Ok so I wrote this post on the 19th sept, ranting about the lack of customer service here in the UK. Due to the rubbish wifi on the train it managed to delete the post, i think thy knew what ad been written and tried to cover it up, winkwink.
Anyway i felt the need to share, especially as one had taken the stupid move of treating oneself to a First Class ticket on East Coast Trains all the way to the other end of the country. Basically right now I don’t have the time to fully disclose my irritating encounter but let’s just say, I will not be booking with East Coast again and neither should you!

The class to be at!

The New class to be at! Head down to Sukarno on Beak St, W1

She is awesome check it out!!!,



This class will offer the opportunity to flow through a series of Pilates inspired sequences, aiming to develop fluidity, build core strength and encourage freedom of movement. Nikki will lead you through an energetic and invigorating hour, waking up your spines and playing around with fun balances in motion whilst not forgetting Pilates favorites of strength and stretch.
A good understanding of the Pilates technique would be useful, however this class is open to all aspiring athletes, fitness fanatics, dance and holistically minded students as well as everyone else!

For more info about Nikki please refer to her website http://www.nicolachergeismar.com